I don't feel like sharing. I feel obligated to put something here. Perhaps when I'm well rested I'll work on "why the hell I write in the first place" AKA my writing theory class. Until then (i.e. tomorrow), a reprint:
I was appalled to find out that Fahrenheit 9/11 is still being used in journalism classes at Millikin University. To combat such heinous offenses, I will repost my movie review, mistakes and all, and email it to the journalism professor. Enjoy.
(originally posted July 29, 2004)
Fahrenheit 9/11: Moore Garbage
Pulling into the parking lot of Boardman's Art Theatre in Champaign, George and I immediately felt threatened. We weren't concerned by the three muggers on the corner, the unmistakable sound of gunfire, nor the half dozen drug deals simultaneously happening all around us. We were scared by the hippies...lots and lots of hippies.
We stepped out of the car, careful not to reveal our true conservative identity. "Shoot," I said to myself, "I'm not wearing a tie-dye shirt or burning incense; I'll be discovered for sure." Luckily for us, there was a scary hippie with a dog handing out flyers with "Take a Bite Out of Bush" written in bold print. We eagerly grabbed a handful, hoping to fit in. "Hey, come back here," the dog owning hippie shouted as we stood in line for tickets. I knew we were caught. Two "well-fed," white, young men with no body piercings or marijuana leaf shirts could never pose as Bush haters out on a Monday night to see the newest Bush bashing film, Fahrenheit 9/11. What was I thinking?
Nervously, George and I approached the man just waiting for a shout, a battle cry to rally his hippie, "pacifist" friends who would quickly lynch us in the streets using only 100% hemp rope, which, if no blood was spilled, they would later smoke while dancing naked and singing "Mr. Tambourine Man." Oh the horror! The hippie stared us down for what seemed to be an eternity. Suddenly, he spoke, "Do you fellows want a 'Take a Bite Out of Bush' bumper sticker?" A bumper sticker? It had to be a trap. Thinking quickly, I replied, "A bumper sticker? I don't drive a CAR! What do you think I am? Some fascist, neo-Nazi, capitalist pig!?" The hippie looked at us, looked at his dog, and finally waved us on. We had passed. We could watch the movie without fear of naked dancing and crazed hippie singing.
Just when I thought we were safe, several dozen flying saucers landed from the planet LAREBIL and began destroying the theatre with their anti-matter rifles. George and I did what we hand to do; we drew our laser swords and bravely flew into battle, destroying every alien but losing an arm and a kidney between us... Oh, I almost forgot the best part, if you believed the majority of this paragraph, Michael Moore wants you to see his movie; you're his target audience.
Fahrenheit 9/11 is the newest documentary from controversial filmmaker Michael Moore(on), the director of "Bowling for Columbine." In his latest film, Moore, who his friends affectionately call "Jabba," tries his best to destroy the Bush administration's credibility and integrity. Using news clips, sound bytes, unclassified documents, and interviews, Moore pieces together a "conspiracy" on such a grand scale, the Monica Lewinsky scandal pales in comparison, or at least it WOULD if any of Moore's conspiracy was based on facts. In reality, where we live and Moore visits on occasion, Fahrenheit 9/11 has more lies, cover-ups, and deceits than the eight years of the Clinton administration! (Putting the total at well over 300 trillion.)
F911 begins with the 2000 Election, a subject still fresh in everyone's minds since it only happened 4 YEARS AGO. Al Gore is shown celebrating his victory in Florida while Moore inserts news clips of Dan Rather and other high profile reporters projecting that Florida's electoral votes would go to Gore. Moore then claims that one station DARE go against the main stream and call Florida for Bush: FOX News. All of a sudden, the other stations, not wanting to go against the all-mighty FOX News, called the state for Bush. Worse yet, the man that made the call at FOX News was none other than a COUSIN of Bush. Oh, the humanity!
Dave Kopel, in his article "Fifty-nine Deceits in Fahrenheit 9/11," writes, "In fact, the networks which called Florida for Gore did so early in the evening-before polls had even closed in the Florida panhandle, which is part of the Central Time Zone. NBC called Florida for Gore at 7:49:40 p.m., Eastern Time. This was 10 minutes before polls closed in the Florida panhandle. Thirty seconds later, CBS called Florida for Gore. And at 7:52 p.m., Fox called Florida for Gore. Moore never lets the audience know that Fox was among the networks which made the error of calling Florida for Gore prematurely." In addition, "About an hour before the polls closed in panhandle Florida, the networks called the U.S. Senate race in favor of the Democratic candidate. The networks seriously compounded the problem because from 6-7 Central Time, they repeatedly announced that polls had closed in Florida--even though polls were open in the panhandle." Unfortunately for Bush, the Florida panhandle is the most conservative part of the state. The constant announcement that the polls were closed probably caused Bush to lose thousands of votes. Moore compounds his lie by implying that Fox was the first station to call Florida for Bush when, in fact, CNN called Florida for Bush at 10 p.m.-four hours earlier than Fox. Tsk Tsk Mr. Moore. Someone should have done some research.
Michael "I'm-Better-At-Propaganda-Than-Joseph-Goebbels" Moore continues with his deceits in his segment on the Bin Laden family's connection with Bush. Moore sets up the segment with very moving graphics of the 9/11 attacks and simple, but powerful, shots of people on the street looking in horror as the events of 9/11 played out above them. Several frames later, news clips from the nation's airports are shown, thousands of people unable to fly. "Not even Ricky Martin would fly," Moore states getting a big laugh from the crowd, "But really, who wanted to fly? No one. Except the bin Ladens." Moore then flashes the documents authorizing the Bin Ladens to fly out of the country. What Moore does NOT emphasize is that the Bin Ladens flew out of the country on September 13th, the day restrictions were lifted on all flights. A New York Times articles with the headline, "White House Approved Departures of Saudis after Sept. 11, Ex-Aide Says," is flashed across the screen giving the impression that Bush approved the Bin Ladens' flight out of the country. Actually, Richard Clarke, former counter-terrorism czar and hero in Moore's eyes for testifying that Bush ignored terror threats, authorized the Bin Ladens to fly out of the country, a fact Moore fails to mention while he's praising Clarke later in the movie.
By far my favorite part of the movie comes during the Iraq War section. Moore contends Bush invaded Iraq purely for oil. (If we just had a war for oil, why are we paying $2.00 a gallon!?) Moore flashes a date on the screen: March 19, 2003-the day before we invaded Iraq. Then, in several sequences that literally made my jaw drop, Moore shows children playing in the streets, flying kites, and laughing; women walking jovially down the street, laughing with their friends; and other scenes of a supposedly happy, non-oppressed Iraqi people. Then, another date: March 20, 2003-the day we invaded Iraqi. A bomb lights of the Iraqi night; buildings are seen burning; men, women, and children crying, searching for their loved ones; innocent civilians killed in a reckless American bombing; and general chaos. Moore narrates, "On March 20, America attacked the sovereign nation of Iraq. A nation that had never attacked the United States. A nation that had never threatened to attack the United States. A nation that had never murdered a single American."
I'll give you a second to read that narration again. Quiz Time: Moore is either A) a complete moron B) in denial or C) all of the above. Has Moore ever heard of the GULF WAR!? During the Gulf War, 148 Americans lost their lives in fighting with the Iraqi army-an army under the leadership of Saddam Hussein. Mr. Moore may have saved himself some embarrasement had he done a simple Google search regarding the Gulf War. It's not hard, Mr. Moore. I'm sure someone can show you have to click "Search." If any of my collegiate papers were HALF as made up as F911, I would be expelled for academic dishonesty.
I could go on for pages and pages about the rest of Moore's lies, but Dave Koppel covers the majority in a brilliant article. Christopher Hitchens also does a great job fisking Moore's movie in his article.
There's a bigger issue here than Moore and his lies (although not much is bigger than Moore). Liberals' willingness to lie, deceive, and propagandize in order to destroy the Bush administration and regain power is beyond anything America has seen in its 228 years. The Democrat Party and its supporters will say and do anything. They have no regard for the truth or the will of the American people; what's good for America is bad for the Democrats. If Osama is caught: bad for the Democrats. If the economy booms: bad for the Democrats. If unemployment drops: bad for the Democrats. In order to win, Democrat supporters have to keep the American people in fear, and, as Moore proves, they'll say anything to do it.
Moore, like many propaganda artists before him, is amazing at what he does. His style of taking quotes out of context, telling half-truths and direct lies is brilliantly convincing. Only when his movies are examined closely do his deceptive tactics surface. If you're one of the thousands who saw F911 and were convinced by Moore's lying, I can't blame you. His movie is quite believable IF you assume Moore is telling the truth. Too bad for the Democrats, he's not...at all...not even a little bit. But if you're a Democratic looking for any excuse to hate Bush (despite the truth), F911 will leave you wanting Moore.