6.21.2008

I'm still unclear on how it1 ends and how it2 begins, on its3 existence even--or how anyone can make it4 work. What you said makes sense--as much as any of it5 can make sense--but for some unGodly reason, it6 feels wrong. (And even as I type those words, I cringe just a little bit. Its6 truth value shouldn't depend on my feelings but on its6 logical coherence.)

It1 has brought me an incalculable amount of joy, yet every time I reason it1 out, the joy disappears--for a little while. I imagined you reading this and asking what it's7 about. And I wouldn't want to tell you. And I would say, "Something that makes me feel immature and weak and everything else I don't want it1 to make me feel." And you would say something kind or witty or caring. And I wouldn't feel that way for a while--though I would feel another way.

And then the cycle begins again. Life, that is. Maybe JML is right; time is circular. Lives are linear moments on a circular path--two steps forward, one step back--a loop with forward momentum.

And--all in all in all--what can be done about it1, it2, and especially it3? Nada thing, my dears; not a damn noun or a verb--or an article, but doesn't that go without saying?

Then why did I write this? Because it7 was there to be written.

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