1.20.2009

Why do people think I'm joking when I gleefully cheer impending socialism? I welcome it with open arms and wallet. I emphatically pre-endorse every collectivist policy that President Obama and the Democrat Congress plan to pass.

When universal health care arrives, my health will be the envy of my friends. At even the thought of sickness I will schedule a visit to my doctor. I'll take every drug s/he prescribes until the refills run dry. Headache? Doctor. Stubbed toe? Doctor. Tired? Doctor. Angry at my roommates? Doctor. I plan to take full advantage of such a program and encourage everyone else to do the same. Hell. I'm not paying for it!

Likewise, I will relish in my tax cuts, tax breaks, or any welfare system enacted. If only those making $250,000 or more are to be taxed then I will plan my life accordingly. My salary will cap at $249,999. I'd certainly like to work hard and make more, but we all have to make sacrifices in these troubled times.

The left is right. (See what I did there?) It's about time some of these rich people started paying for my well being. They have so much money. It's absurd. What right do they have to it? The only right any of us really has is the right to obey the majority. Individual rights are as antiquated as the second amendment. I don't own a gun. I've never fired a gun. And I don't plan on owning a gun. So if they're banned, restricted, or taxed, I suppose it won't bother me in the slightest. At least they'll finally be out of the hands of criminals.

Nationalizing the banks? That's fine with me. Why would I care? If it works, it must be right. While we're at it, we should nationalize the car companies so this whole "bankruptcy" thing doesn't happen again. Our government has a great track record with managing money. Or, at least, it will with Obama in office.

Oh, change can you see by the dawn's early change
What so proudly we changed at the twilight's last changing?
Whose broad change and bright hope thru the perilous Bush,
O'er the changes we changed were so gallantly changing?
And the rocket's red change, the bombs bursting in change,
Gave change through the night that our change was still change.
Oh, change change that change-spangled banner yet change
O'er the land of the change and the home of the change?


Play change.

1 comment:

Zane said...

Hahahahaha! I went to comment on this and my verification word is so apt. The word is "faill"

Anyway, I will not argue the details of your post, because it will do no good because your worldview is... what it is.

However, I can never understand this ridiculous belief:
"If only those making $250,000 or more are to be taxed then I will plan my life accordingly. My salary will cap at $249,999. I'd certainly like to work hard and make more, but we all have to make sacrifices in these troubled times."

First of all, even if this were remotely true (it isn't), the absurdity of doing everything you can to avoid paying taxes is just too much to bear. Despite making more money, you refuse to, simply to avoid paying taxes. What is it about taxes you hate so much? Tell me, if you won't pay taxes, are you going to pay a construction worker with your own arguably hard-earned money to fix the pothole in the road in front of your house? Are you going to pay for your local school's operating costs? Are you going to buy bullets and armored vests for our soldiers? Will you pay inspectors to ensure the safety of our food products? I'll tell you one thing: even if you would, I can guarantee you most of your neighbors sure as hell won't.

Secondly, it just isn't true. People making less than $250,000 are still paying taxes. People making $250,000 will pay around FOUR PERCENT more ONLY on money above the $250,000 threshold. Big freaking deal.

Like I said, this probably doesn't matter at all to you and you probably think that your statement is completely legitimate, because our worldviews are just too vastly different. If I would have had to pay 60% taxes to get Bush and his ilk (McCain and Palin) out and away from office, I gladly would have.