2.11.2009

We are now, officially, old enough for drama--though I'm sure you'd argue that we were never too young.

Fine. Perhaps. But we're definitely old enough now.

So your apology for the dramatic seems unnecessary, yet I find it fascinating that it's the part for which you feel the need to apologize.

Funny, isn't it, that not so long ago it was I who had a long way to go before I could stop feeling inferior--many thanks to Mihm, Hesse, AJE, Rand, and others. I "got" there "some day." And yet it wasn't too late--because neither my self-esteem nor time were the proper conditions under which the referent "it" would necessarily change.

"Everything is conditional," says House. "You just can't always anticipate the conditions." Love is conditional. You just can't always anticipate the conditions. Life is conditional. You just can't always anticipate the conditions. My life is conditional. You just can't always anticipate the conditions. Your life is conditional. I just can't always anticipate the conditions. ("You" and "I" bolded in two separate sentences about the conditions of love, life: Apropos.)

When you say, "It just might be too late," I literally do not know what you mean. I know how to read the combination of words, to put together what they might mean in other contexts--e.g. if I can't get on the heart transplant list, "it just might be too late." But aside from their structural meaning, I cannot understand their significance or point. Very seldom can I admit such an ignorance of contextual meaning (outside of my short-lived discussions of time travel), but in this situation, it seems more appropriate to be forthright with this feeling of "uh...woof" than to disregard it and pretend to know. Faked knowledge is an evasion of reality, and I've been trying to evade evasion for quite some time now.

The following is a list of my expectations to rectify my ignorance:
[null set]

The following is a list of my desires to rectify my ignorance:
1. Converse.
2. Not make assumptions no matter how grand or minuscule.
3. Go on living my life.
4. Who is John Galt?

I am not making mole hills out of mountains or mountains out of Floam or mountains out of macaroni and Elmer's glue. The meaning you ascribe to your words is important to my rational self-interest in many different ways, but not more important than my life. The meaning you ascribe to your words is important to your rational self-interest in many different ways, but not more important than my life.

A is A. What is B, I wonder...

Yet I'm reminded of another House moment:

Wilson: I'm curious...
House: No you're not.

Is this entire post rhetorical? What's the alternative? Who is John Galt?
[Fact.]

A student recently said to me, "I see the point, and I have no counter argument, but I disagree." The basis for his disagreement was the fact that he wanted the point to be false. The Universe doesn't care what you believe. Somehow, though, I think this entire post is connected in some weird sort of way. I don't have time to think about it. I'll just assume it's true.

4 comments:

*a said...

if meaning or understanding is desired and the request for conversation is denied, what's the alternative to assumptions based on observations?

if dr. house is correct that everything is conditional, acknowledgement of the the possibility that "it just might be too late" isn't all that ridiculous. and really, in the type of situation you seem to be only somewhat cryptically describing, if someone chooses to punish someone else for a misguided assumption, rather than take an opportunity to set that person straight, how many people are being punishing? and to what end?

Daniel T. Richards said...

There is no alternative to observations. Perception leads to conception and not the other way around.

You're right...somewhat. It is not outside the realm of possibility to say "it just might be too late." It's not impossible in terms of human interaction. But to say that everything is conditional is not to say that everything is relative or that everything is possible at any given time. We just have to discover the conditions. Consequently, the idea isn't necessarily impossible but it's incredibly unlikely.

Values, my dear. Values. It's not a punishment to not find a certain value in someone. It would be a punish to pretend it's there. The corollary, of course, is self-esteem, knowing one's own value. Your self-esteem can help you through times of crisis--though it cannot stop all emotional attachment...that would be a horrible way to live. Likewise, it's a horrible way to live thinking that A) our emotions should determine our course of action and B) that our emotions are beyond rationality.

Amber said...

Being too late does not necessarily pertain to a certain date or time but merely what is missed in the journey between. If failure to "get there" prevents one from success or happiness, anything following those moments could be construed as arriving at the revelation "too late."

If this makes sense to you, I shall be very surprised and grateful.

Anonymous said...

It's not too late. But I'd be surprised if it worked out.