3.01.2009

"[The argument about words versus actions] is not important. It doesn't matter which signs/clues are more important, because what's most important is whether they have fun together, whether they make each other happy."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If they have fun together and make each other happy (which would be difficult to do without both words *and* actions), what other signs or clues would they need? The same goes for if they don't.

A great relationship isn't about words or actions. It demands both, but it's about feelings. What matters is how you feel (about yourself - your life). If your world doesn’t feel a little warmer and look a little brighter with her/him in it, maybe s/he shouldn't be.

broken570 said...

Your posts are harder to make sense of than Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus.

Jayemel said...

And since when did people in our society care about what makes them happy?

Daniel T. Richards said...

To anonymous:

"Signs" and "clues" are referents to words and actions denoting a possible relationship beyond friendship. This quote makes the argument that we needn't worry about those signals if we're having fun.

True, every relationship we have should make us happy--otherwise what's the point of having it? But how often do we--I can at least speak for men--over analyze a situation in the hopes of finding "clues" to a woman's motivation? We spend so much time worrying about what something means that we forget the purpose of finding meaning in the first place: to make ourselves happy.

To broken570:

Pineapple.

To Jayemel:

Is/ought.

DTR

Anonymous said...

DTR - I understood the quote. My primary issue, though I didn't state it clearly, was with pitting words and actions in opposition or suggesting that one may be more important than the other.

I hadn't thought about over analyzing as being something guys do, but I certainly spend a lot of time listening to my male friends analyze situations in search of clues revealing another person's motivation (romantic, professional, or other). Do you know what I almost always say to them when they're done talking (or when I'm done listening)? I say, "stop talking to me, and go talk to them."

My assumptions yesterday were: 1. that the fun and happiness were, without a doubt, mutual and 2. that people who have fun together and make each other happy would want to be together. This isn't necessarily true, because it leaves out the all-too-important attraction factor.

Having thought about it more, I disagree with my first sentence. You're right: we shouldn't worry so much about meaning that we're unable to enjoy the moment, but most of us do. This is why I advocate communication and favor straightforward honesty over "clues" and "signs." Humans crave security. it's natural to want to understand another person's intentions, particularly if we're having fun and feeling happy.*

JML - Most people in our society care about what makes them happy (whether they truly know or are honest with themselves about what does or could make them happy, is a different story). Unfortunately, most people in our society are too afraid to be happy.**


*enjoying the now
**ultimately, completely happy

Brent S. Robida said...

well said, dan. well said, indeed.